Thelma and Louise and the Fancy Dancy Can Opener

One day during this road trip adventure Thelma and Louise were left alone in cousin Roxie's house with a can of tuna, some gluten-free bread, a bag of almonds and an apple.  Given the lack of food during various parts of this trip, Thelma decided we would make Tuna sandwiches. Easy and quick, right? All went well until we tried to get the tuna out of the can and realized together we were two thirds of the three stoogettes. The thing that looked like a can opener simply had no way to attach to a can. We tried everything including slamming the can with the handle. We sisters beyond sixty laughed at ourselves until we were both honking and gasping for breath..all the while sputtering "there's GOT to be a way to do this that doesn't involve calling Roxie"(and exposing our total ineptitude .)  About to give up and just eat bread,almonds and apple, Thelma and Louise plopped down at the table in despair...when Thelma shouted "GOOGLE!" And Louise shouted "YOU-TUBE!"...tripping over each other in perfect LucyEthelness  we ran to get our iPads and raced to the solution. And that is almost the end of the story. Google identified the pampered chef miraculous can opener made for old people who have tired hands, and utube had a step by step video which we followed exactly. It only took four tries. Soon Thelma and Louise were enjoying the best tuna sandwiches we could remember, and the fancy Dancy can opener was back in its place in Roxie's perfect kitchen.

Roadtrip Saga ...Thelma and Louise and the Backyard Wedding

The property was transformed. The Original Hilton and Hilton on the Hill (two old shacks at the back of the property usually used for storage but frequently called into service as sleeping quarters for visiting cousins when we were all kids) been painted barn red with white trim and sported new tin roofs.  The wedding arch at the crest of the hill was laced with fall flowers, corn husks and colored leaves. Beyond the arch the hills and mountains were ablaze in all their fall glory.

Family from everywhere arrived in wedding wear and cowboy boots for this unique country wedding.
The young bride and her groom had planned every detail and I know they we pleased with their ceremony. The processional up the hill was like an old fashioned tradition of family and friends accompanying the couple on the walk to the church. Pictures of the missing grandmothers and aunts were brought along at the couple's insistence. The vows were personal and deep. Very very sweet.

Forty six years ago this bride's mother, Andi,  was a beautiful nine year old junior bridesmaid at my wedding. CousinAndi was the youngest of all the cousins, and the sweetest and most beloved.  She grew up to be a wonderful mother and all of her kids are smart, gracious and kind and adore their mom.  I know it was a bittersweet day for her.

And then there was a real party!!! A pig roast in the front yard, a bar in the backyard, a huge tent in the side yard alive with hundreds of tiny white lights and gold glittering mason jar candle holders. Buffet dinner, toasts that had us laughing and crying and cheering, and of course cake and cupcakes. And then the dancing began.

This is a family that LOVES to dance. Lots of country music and moves that haven't quite made it to Seattle or McLean,Va, but Thelma and Louise did their best!! Until they couldn't. We did notice that sixty year old cousin Linda (Linda of red convertable fame) was out dancing almost everyone...and almost everyone was much much younger.  In her cowboy boots and leather cowboy hat she was a great reminder that we need to grab happiness and live our dreams.

And that's what Thelma and Louise want for young Ashley and her man Brandon. Happiness and dreams come true.

More from Thelma Louise Road Trip

Continued Highlights
1. Visiting the cemetery to celebrate the three grand ladies of the best generation: my mother, my aunt Eleanor, and their lifelong best friend, "aunt" Norma.  All lived into their nineties, all died within the last three years, and all were mothers to all of us.
2. Meeting up with my brother. We three siblings sat in the sun until the wind was pretty strong. We had quite a laugh when we realized that there was no longer one of the grand ladies to tell us to get out of the wind! Being together reminded all of us that we three kids are now the older generation.
3. Riding the campus tour bus with my siblings and driver guide cousin  Roxie. VIP treatment that the mothers would have adored.
4. At Roxie's invitation visiting the "Norma Jewelry Store" in the garage and choosing pieces from aunt Norma's vast collection of costume jewelry before it goes in a garage sale. ( Think: ninety year collection of a woman who never ever left the house without at least five accessories! )
5. Finding gluten free bar food for my sister so that we didn't have to have another meal of almonds and dates.
6. Laughing till we cried late into the night at Roxie's kitchen table just like our mothers did for decades. Roxie reminded us that our mothers would have had three forks, a pan of macaroni and cheese, and a pecan pie.  No plates. We were back to snacking on almonds and dates out of regard for my sister.
More tomorrow.

Thelma and Louise do it up right! Chapter 1

Things I liked best about my trip to the Northeast.
1. Selected for the no extra screening line. No shoe,jacket,belt,laptop removal. Just me and the old fashioned walk-through, have a nice flight m'am.
2. Aisle seat, nonstop flight.
3. Washington DC night landing and drive past all the lighted monuments.
4. Hysterical seven hour road trip with my amazing sister. Not quite Thelma and Louise, but close.
5. Road trip lunch provided (within sight of a mcdonalds) by aforementioned sister: gluten free cracker, six almonds and a date.
6. Northeast fall color, can't be beat.
7. Arrival at cousin Linda's followed by immediately jumping into her red convertible, top down, for a real Thelma and Louise adventure in her tiny upstate New York town.
More tomorrow.

Another Wedding

The wedding yesterday was perfect.
 Friends and family smiled, wept, and applauded as the fabulous couple came down the aisle with their two grown and highly successful children. Their "best people"  each spoke of the family and community this couple had built over the years: the game nights, beach weeks, pickle ball tournaments, water balloon marathons, dinners, parties. They remembered how this family had opened their arms and home to each person now blessing the marriage.  This remarkable couple  have "been there" for so many; last year they took turns being present for every surgery, radiation and chemotherapy session for one friend, sat with another during the last days of his wife's illness, co-signed loans, househunted, delivered meals, and painted rooms for more than a few of us!  They raised their beautiful smart children to be generous and conscientious citizens who are outgoing and inclusive.  Handsome son Alex thanked his parents for the gift of his life, "and the greatest gift of all;you taught me how to love. " Not a dry eye in the room.

In this summer of weddings and beautiful happy couples, this wedding was particularly joyous.
Nora and Susan, have had to wait 32 years to be legally married.  I say it's about time.

I could sell these things

I have had my I pad for over a year now and I have to say, I rarely, if ever, ever use my pc. With my age appropriate dimming eyesight it is thrilling to instantly and easily enlarge just about anything. I love the convenience and the versatility ...and the portability as I prop it on a cookbook stand to read recipes as I cook or watch movies in odd places. I can pop it in my bag when I go to a meeting  and I am hardly aware of the few ounces of extra weight. No worries about viruses ever. The auto correct is a bit fruits (frustrating) though.

I Post

I love my I's!! I pad, I phone.
With a pinch or a sweep
Print becomes readable,
Pictures clear.

Yoga Confession

Somewhere between beginning breathing and savasana I plan  lunch.

All is well

So last week I was beginning  a right turn and barely moving when a child on a bike darted in my path. I was able to stop ( because I was barely moving) and did not hit the child. Unfortunately the truck behind me ( more than barely. Moving!! And way too close ) rear ended my sweet new car. Because I have always been adept at visioning what might have been, I immediately thanked. God that my car was not thrown into the child.  Then I got out to look at the damage and meet the truck driver who was saying "wet roads, stopped fast oh not much damage, not claiming on my insurance"
My bumper will need to be replaced and his insurance will pay. And nobody died.

Who's That on the Cake?

A few weeks ago I unearthed my "wedding box." Items carefully packed away after my June 1967 wedding included:

1. Wedding dress - still in perfect condition even though it had not been drycleaned or trated but simply been wrapped in tissue for 46 years.

2. Beaded headpiece and veil....something my liberated daughter would NEVER have remotely considered wearing!

3. My sister's pink maid of honor dress marked size 14w (We laughed when she tried it on her currently size 6, 60 year old body and couldn't zip it!)

4. Turquoise penoir set with miles of chiffon and ribbons. (Really, I mean really, I can't imagine that I ever wore that to bed.

5. Posed photos of family and guests.

6. Photo of the mother of the bride, my dear mom, in a dress she made and a very stylish hat that today looks like an inelegant lampshade.

6. The cake topper: two plastic figures standing under a plastic arch and looking really miserable. 

Things I learned from the wedding pictures

1. Smiling naturally at a camera is very unnatural to me. And it shows.
2. I seem to be much shorter than I used to be.
3. I should probably wear eye makeup all the time.
4. With high enough heels and pointed enough toes I still have pretty fine legs.
5. A woman of a certain age should NEVER try to cover her bare arms with a shawl or wrap of any sort,even a fancy one.
6. The bride and groom were lovely,happy and picturesque.

Toast Post

This weekend I got a toaster oven.  Today I ate a lifetime of toast.

Walking Again...

Walking again! Well sort of. I have new regard for anyone who has ever broken a bone.  It is hard to believe that I have been recovering from this since August 12!!  Thank you, wheel chair, walker, scooter, cane! Thank you to the rolling desk chair that got me from my car to my home before the wheelchair arrived.  And thank you to my good right foot that provided support and balance while the left foot did nothing...for months!  Friends and family were there every minute and my neighbors were amazing.  I am a changed person for all of the kindness that was lavished on me. I know I will walk differently as a more caring and helpful person...kind of a born again helper and reacherouter.  Just gotta pay it forward..one step at a time.

Sad and Frightened for all of us.

Last night I met a woman who has chronic leukemia. She is on medicine that keeps her alive. For $8000 per month! When her Cobra runs out she believes she basically faces a  death sentence because she can't afford the meds and she can't get insurance.  This election is important, people.  I challenge Mr.Romney/Ryan to tell me what will happen to this lovely lady?  And please don't tell me she should get a loan from her parents - they've already lost everything material.  They don't want to lose their daughter.  She is thirty years old.

Memory Box

A long time ago I watched a teacher use this "trick" to help a student remember her spelling words.  I share it today for all of us who occasionally struggle to  keep numbers or names in our aging and sometimes unreliable brains,  It works - at least in the short term.  I am not aware that it is a copyrighted or patented method - but I do know that someone invented it.

Here goes:
1. Become aware of where your eyes go when you are trying to remember something (letters, names, numbers etc.)  You will see that your eyes almost always go to the same place...maybe upper right, lower left..everyone is different.

2. Once you have that awareness, visually/mentally  create an empty rectangle in that space.  That is your memory box.

3. When you come upon something you want to remember (maybe a phone number, or a new name) consciously put that something in your memory box.  (I visualize the numbers as I "put" them in my memory box.) Once you "have it" there, "look" at it in your mind.

4. When you want to retrieve that number, "look"  at your memory box (move your eyes in the normal memory direction)- and...(hopefully) you will easily retrieve your information.

5. Of course the memory box is probably short term - so don't try to overload it with too many things.

6.Sorry, but  it only works if you can first remember that you have created a memory box!

Lucky!!

Google gotta love you...but darn it's become a challenge to blog or comment.  Maybe I have it figured out, but maybe not.  I have missed being able to comment on blogs I have read everyday for years.

Trying again as I am sidelined by a double ankle fracture and a huge pink cast.  Surgery aside, it has forced me to slow down, way down, and stirred a great compassion for my smart active mother who never complained about how hard it must have been to live the last two years of her life in a wheel chair, and my vivacious and funny aunt Annie who used crutches from age fourteen on due to a rare crippling disease.

I have been touched by the calls and cards, the folks who show up with food and offers to get me out of the house.  I am stunned and daunted by the challenge presented by my front steps and the sweet curving path to the street.

  Every day I am stonger and every day I realize how blessed I am.  Every day I give thanks that when I fell down the interior stairs in my house, I had my phone with me.  And everyday I am grateful for baby rivers and boyfriend who jumped in the car when they got my call, kept me talking as they drove, and called 911 when they realized I had passed out. I am a very lucky girl with a big fat left foot.

Hmm...

I have realized that I do not have a bucket list.

Second-Hand Happy

It really makes me happy when Baby Rivers is happy.  She now has a special guy in her life who makes her smile. A lot. AND I really like him!  He is smart and funny and so  kind to her, and to me!  He has good manners, a good job and he can fix things. He likes to help this old lady.  His mama raised him right. Yay.

Dental Spa?

I have been going to the same dentist for about fifteen years.  My daughter recommended him because he was cute and charming and his office was interesting.  My daughter was 22 at the time and impressed by cute dentists.

 Dr. Dentist now owns a high tech practice that takes up the top two floors of a downtown building...and he is still the only dentist.  He and all of his assistants wear carefully placed tiny microphones and earphones to keep things running smoothly. While a the technician was prepping me, Dr.Dentist was talking quietly to someone in another part of the office and at the same time making sure that I was comfortable and ready for the procedure.

 I wanted to be upset that maybe these people were distracted from the most important patient (me)  but actually they were giving me very good care. I wanted to complain that the white white walls, fabulous art and views of the city were a bit over the top, but really...it was more like the serenity room at  five star spa.

 I wanted to be annoyed when I had to wait twenty five minutes for the anesthesia to take hold, but when they brought me to a comfy lounge chair in the roof garden, gave me fresh a white blanket and offered me all of the current glossy magazines and a choice of music, I just gave up on complaints.

Dr. Dentist  likes art, beautiful architecture, impeccable design, gardening and comfort.  He also really likes saving teeth, advanced dentistry and technology.  He has invested time and money in learning and implementing  the latest in dentistry, hired great people to work with him and created an environment in which he thrives. I walked in today with a broken tooth and I walked out with a crown fully fit and  fashioned and seated - in one visit.  No need to return unless there is an issue, and there should be none.

It is a far cry from the one chair dentist who yelled at me as a child and filled my teeth with giant gobs of mercury.  Dr. Dentist is still pretty cute.

Marigolds and Popcorn

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel - What's Really Important?


A group of British retirees decide to "outsource" their retirement to less expensive and seemingly exotic India. Enticed by advertisements for the newly restored Marigold Hotel and bolstered with visions of a life of leisure, they arrive to find the palace a shell of its former self. Though the new environment is less luxurious than imagined, they are forever transformed by their shared experiences, discovering that life and love can begin again when you let go of the past.

I found this movie totally delightful though I admit I can’t get a handle on what I might have thought of it at a younger age. The theater was full of graying, grayed (and balding) women, and we all loved it!  Who couldn’t love this amazing cast, this whimsical but plausible idea and the constant visual feast offered by the Marigold Movie?  We embraced and identified with  every nuance, insecurity, corny line, and wrinkle.

Sign me up to hang out with such interesting characters in my old age. Please don’t point out the rails along the walls or the monkey dishes of canned fruit cocktail. Don’t show me the “excursion” van for Drs. appointments, or the multipurpose room for popsickle crafts. Show me Judi and Maggie and some fabulous clothes. Show me hopes and dreams I'd never admit I still have. Show me new places to go and new things to learn. Show me the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.  Just maybe not in India.