Well Thelma (size4) and Louise ( size 4+10) never ever shopped together for clothes. Not in over 60 years. Not, that is, until the Great American Roadtrip of 2013. Out of the blue Thelma (size 4) blurts out something like..."You NEED to buy different jeans. You look like an old lady. an old bag lady."
You might imagine that Louise, the bigger and older sister, would have some thoughts about this sudden and uncharacteristic breach of the silent code of sisters who have long since made a troubled peace with the fact that they live in very different bodies. (The celiac body of a woman who eats only almonds and dates, and the more substantial body of a woman who LIVES FOR Costco hot dogs!)
When my face stopped burning and the normal pasty white had returned to my cheeks, I (Louise) refrained from the very familiar snarky retort that had served me well between my 11th and 15th year on earth. (The six word sentence that had always sent Thelma screaming to our mom.) Proud of myself for being the more evolved one, I opened my heart and followed my sophisticated rich Republican sister into a clothing store.
Where .... Thelma, like a senior Daisy Buchannin, began tossing pairs of jeans my way. "These are the Jeans for you!" NOT YOUR DAUGHTER's JEANS...are made for women of all sizes who are perhaps older but definitely want to be stylish. I actually could not believe the difference in the way they fit and looked. And just to sweeten the deal, size 14 was too big, size 12 too big too. I bought two pair just because it was so much fun to believe for a few minutes each day that I am a woman who wears size 10 in something besides shoes. I think I hugged my sister.
The Roadtrip is over and so is this saga. Today Thelma is back in DC saving the Government and Louise is back in Seattle wearing sassy jeans and planning a trip to Costco.
I am pretty sure our mom would be delighted to see that her girls have finally begun to realize that they come from the same genes.
THE CAPTAIN AND MIA
2 hours ago